I am – Hercules!!

How do I know I’m crazy into “Survivor” all over again?

Because when they stuck that “To Be Continued” title card at the end of last episode I believe I actually made a low moaning noise.

You’d think a double-dose of expulsion would sate me! But no! What I really wanted to see was the outcasts deciding who to make eligible again for that million dollars – and who not to.

Now. Just before the season began, Probst was yammering on about how one of the contestants had somehow pulled off some huge deception. Well, I thought, it had to be Lillian, right? She’s lying about being a scoutmaster, right? Because what else is there to lie about?? Darrah is secretly ugly? Osten is secretly white? Rupert is secretly female? Had to be Lillian!

Then! Lillian got her “scoutmaster” hinder voted off the island! I couldn’t believe it! With Lilian gone, who the frick is deceiving us?? If everything you say is a lie … and you are lying … Reroute to Norman! Reroute to Norman! Savor the tranya! Savor the tranya!

Then! Lillian, like the other outcasts, came back from the dead last week! I can sleep again! Hee hee hee hee.

8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.