Hey folks, Harry here with a front row Monki review of BNAT 5, he had drool issues during the night! Here ya go...
Monkihere, I figure I’d throw in my two cents about BNAT 5… much has been already said about the Cinematic Gang-Bang, but I thought I could add a few little tidbits.
My buddy Edison and I received our seating assignment at the door and made our way into the theatre. At first I was pretty psyched cause the ticket said 1211 and 1212, I figured this meant row 12, seats 11 and 12. We walked in and immediately noticed that the rows counted down, and not up. We followed the numbers and realized we were in the front row, just off-center. In any other theatre, this would have sucked aLOT, but the Drafthouse’s screen is just the right size to not destroy your neck after watching films for 24 hours. Keep in mind that we were in the front row, its important later. The night started off with the trailer for Stunt Rock!! This gave me hope thatMonkeyMountainmight make a reprise as well, but alas, Harry knows how to create and destroy my dreams.
Haunted Gold was pretty cool, kind of slow going, but I thought it was good. The stereotyping in the movie was pretty blatant, but the boos and hisses were annoying as hell. I can’t but help imagine what would have happened with this same crowd at BNAT 2 and Wonderbar. Whatever…
The Captain Marvel serials were interesting. The idea of a superhero using a machine gun to mow down some baddies is a cool idea. I was actually disappointed when the projector died, but I was soon perfectly alright with it when…
…Return of the King. To quote my friend, this movie rocked my face off… and then ROCKED ITBACKON… The CGI in this picture is INSANE… the giant flying things were so freaking cool. I couldn’t believe that I was looking at a computer image… these creatures were alive and breathing. I want to go toNew Zealandso I can ride a giant eagle, or a warg. All I have to say is that Legolas is officially the most badass elf alive. “That only counts as one!!” Awwwdamn.
Remember how I mentioned before I was in the front row? Well, this was very important because when Mr. Peter Jackson walked out he stood no more than 10 feet away from me. Wow. The geek gravity on the stage was almost too much. How cool is it that I (Monki) got to ask Mr. Jackson about KING KONG!! (Expect to see it at BNAT 7)
So, after that was The General with music by Guy Forsyth. Very very very cool. My foot was actually on the back of Mr. Forsyth’s chair for the most part of the movie. I’ve never seen anyone play a handsaw before, let alone from 3 feet away. Keaton was absolutely fabulous in this movie. It is hard to believe that the stunts in this movie are all very real. Growing up in a world of blue screen and CG it is very hard to think that this man was running back and forth on a train jumping and swinging and tripping. That is dedication to a craft.. good lord.
Next up, Old Boy. I like to think that I have a twisted sense of humor. Some would call it “evil.” For Halloween this year I dressed up like Roy from Siegfreid and Roy. This was a twisted damn movie. The setup and the twist at the end were enough to make my face twist a little bit, and then laugh. Good lord it was evil!! I love it!
Wasp Nest was quite cool. The females in this flick were awful hot. French babes are always just smoking. The ultimate bad guy in this film was just greasy, one of those kinds of people who you just want to punch in the face without even hearing him speak. The “Leonthe Professional” duplicate guy was pretty awesome too.
I want to say a few things about Ginger Snaps: Unleashed. I was very happy to see this film at BNAT. You see, my first “real” review for AICN was Ginger Snaps at South by Southwest a few years ago. I’ve been reading the site for a long damned time. I think it was 1996 or 1997 when I started checking it regularly. In 2000 I got the chance to meet Harry for the first time when I was a freshman at theUniversityofTexasand in the school’s film club. He autographed my Fight Club booklet that took quotes from various reviewers. (He autographed the one that dealt with Space Monkeys). I slowly made friends with a few others from the site and then I got my first review up for Ginger Snaps. Since then I’ve been a contributor for SXSW reports every year and have worked my way up in the film business. I now produce films and am very close to being able to live off of pure film profits. A lot of that has to do with Ain’t it Cool and the love of movies that spreads through this site. I have Harry to thank for my curious nature when it comes to films.
As far as the movie went, I like that dorky Bridget has become hottie Bridget. I also like the large scale female masturbation scene. I REALLY like that scene. I liked the little girl because of the ending. This was a cool one.
Another French babe movie. Switchblade Romance. I like French female nudity for the sake of French female nudity. This needs to happen more in American horror films. Eli Roth has the right idea. The barb-wired bat to the face was a good move. The last shot of the film f’d me up. Something about the smile and the sudden jerk and the lack of sleep.
Teenage Mother. Holy god.
Undead was awesome. Marionis the Ash of New Zealand. This movie was very much an homage to Evil Dead and Night of the Living Dead. The gore was great and the actors were awesome. I was afraid it would be just another zombie movie, but the comedy really added to the overall effect.
Now, I want to make this next statement perfectly clear. The Passion of the Christ is the most powerful film I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m not particularly religious, I don’t go to church, I haven’t read the bible. I don’t hate religious people, I think religion is a wonderful thing for some people, but just not for me. This film hurt me. I felt every single blow to Jesus’ back. I felt his pain as he drug the crucifix to the hilltop. Someone else said it, but also agree that this is probably the most important film of this century. As amazed as I was by it, I’m not sure if I can go back to see it again, this movie takes a lot to get through and I’m not sure if I can take another sitting of it.
Mel Gibson stood five feet in front of me. It was so hard not to just drop to my knees and thank him. Thank him for his roles and everything he has contributed to film.
It was an amazing party Harry. The only problem I had with the whole thing was this, of ALL of the people in the yearbook, I am the only one who doesn’t have his NAME under his picture. So, all of you who went, grab your yearbook and flip to the fourth page of pictures, the second row, the last picture. Write my name in. MONKI. (with an i)
Thanks again Harry, I’ll see you at SXSW.
-Monki
