Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a rather negative look at the upcoming stoner comedy HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. I saw this flick a little while ago (review forthcoming) and while it doesn't reinvent the stoner comedy, it's a lot more enjoyable than this guy makes it out to be... At least in my opinion. Beware of heavy, heavy spoilers below...
Whats up Harry,
Today I went to a screening of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle at the Arena Grand Theater in Columbus, Ohio. It was a big deal because in attendance were some lady from New Line who apparently was having a birthday, the director, and the two stars of the film. Also in attendance were a bunch of White Castle "Cravers" who before the movie told these lame ass stories about how they loved White Castle and pick up women at White Castle. Then they got these plaques. They should be proud. One guy sounded kind of like Al Pacino though. Anyway on to the review.
The basis story is two guys Harold and Kumar one guy a slacker (Kumar) who doesn't want to go to med school and basically leeches off his dad and another guy (Harold) is a straight edge type of guy. The only thing they both have in common really is they like to get high. Well while getting high they get hungry and want something to eat. They're not sure until a commercial for White Castle comes on and the quest begins. They decide they must satisfy their craving for the little burgers. So the embark on a journey to go to White Castle. Theres a side story about Harold not being able to talk to this really pretty hispanic girl who he always sees in the elevator but its not really improtant. I only wish she was in the movie more. Also, they have two Jewish neighbors who get high as well played by shitbreak from American Pie and David Kromholtz. You know they're Jewish because theres a menorrah on their coffee table and they say Jewish things. Very suttle. Anyway on their journey the encounter Jamie Kennedy briefly, as a guy who stands too close to Kumar while peeing. Two British girls who play a game called "Battleshits" in the bathroom. Poop humor is never funny. However, the girls are hot. Chris Meloni and "Freakshow" a guy with pussing boils. Not sure if this was supposed to be funny or gross. Chris Meloni is hilarious though and I'd love to see him do a comedy one day and break out of his serious actor mold. Freakshow's wife who should immediately be put on a Maxim magazine because she is definitely one of the hottest women I've ever seen. I doubt she'll be the next Maryl Streep but she does have nice boobs. Neil Patrick Harris also is in the movie. I think they guy's wrote this script high and thought it would be funny to have Doogie in the movie but I think its funnier to them than to us the viewer. Anthony Anderson was in the movie and his cameo was forgettable. There was some surreal part about a cheetah in New Jersey and they git it high nad tried to ride it. Then they had a weird hang glider scene which didn't make since because it looked like they went far in the hang glider but White Castle was really not that far. Then they got to White Castle and Harold gained confidence and Kumar didn't want to be a slacker. Then the movie left off with Harold and Kumar wanting to go to Amsterdam.
All in all the movie was a very average. Maybe if I was drinking it would've been funnier but what can you expect from a movie about two guys wanting to go to White Castle. It had a few chuckles and a decent soundtrack so I'd probably watch it when Comedy Central buys the rights and starts airing it 200 times a week. The movie has inspired me to start writing Jamal and Horatio Go To The Gap. A Hispanic guy and a black guy go on the quest for cargo pants. Since there's no Gap in The Ghetto they have to go to the white mall and hilarity ensures. If Gillian at New Line is reading this I'll sell you the rights.
If you choose to use this review just call me Evil Conrad Bain.
