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Published on Friday, October 8, 2004 - 9:52am |
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Herc
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I am – Hercules!!
Talk about bad precedents. NBC moved Kirk/Spock/Bones version of “Star Trek” to Fridays in 1968. The show floundered, and its third season turned out to be its last.
Guess where UPN has scheduled the Archer/T’Pol/Trip version this season?
To aggravate matters, tonight’s first half of the two-hour “Storm Front” is too busy digging the show out of last season’s shockeroo cliffhanger to do much else, and there just isn’t anything here we couldn’t have predicted after having seen the red-eyed extraterrestrial in the Nazi uniform last May. Hopefully next week’s 4.2 will rally as new showrunner Manny Coto & Co. set out to finally resolve the “temporal cold war” storyline introduced in the “Enterprise” pilot four years ago.
With 4.3, Coto gets on with his mission to sniff around the pre-Kirk Alpha Quadrant, as the crew returns to what’s left of 22nd century Earth.
4.4-4.6 brings us a three-hour prequel to “Space Seed” with Brent “Data” Spiner returning to play imprisoned eugenics maven Arik Soong. It’d be cool if, confronted with Archer’s tough questioning, Soong complains to the captain that he “grows fatigued.”
4.7-4.9 moves the action to sunny Vulcanis, where T’Pol’s surprisingly emotional race fusses and feuds so persuasively the desert planet is brought to the brink of civil war. T’Pau, who will later officiate at Spock’s divorce, turns up. So does the planet’s long-dead messiah, Surak.
4.10 then introduces us to the troubled inventor of the transporter (played, if there’s any justice, by Jeff Goldblum), who has a plan to render all starships, including the NX-01, obsolete.
So even if tonight’s installment is a snore, I’m sticking around to see what else they come up with. But, really, what matters Herc’s opinion?
Entertainment Weekly gives tonight's installment a “C-” and says:
… After saving Earth by destroying the evil Xindi's superweapon (don't ask), Captain Archer awakes to find himself in 1940s Brooklyn. Only in this reality, WWII has made its way onto American soil, which is teeming with Nazis who're in bed with (metaphorically, thank God) time-travelling aliens. …
TV Guide gives it a 4 (out of 10) and says:
… the wooden crew returns to Earth … only to be trapped in a clichéd World War II movie … It doesn’t take escaped POW Archer (Scott Bakula) to join the resistance, led by ridiculously stereotyped mobsters. This hokey scenario is all too easy to resist.
USA Today gives it one star (out of four) and says:
Paramount is determined to keep the Star Trek name in front of the public. And never mind how much damage this dull, misbegotten enterprise does to the franchise. … returns with a ludicrous time-travel story, bereft of both creativity and taste. To its usual mix of bland characters and indecipherable plots Enterprise adds alien Nazis …
Yikes. But talk about irony. In his review of tonight’s episode, USA Today TV critic Robert Bianco also writes:
It would be different if the ratings-and-quality-deprived Enterprise had been saved by some sudden, mass outpouring of fan support … But no. Enterprise plods on, despite overwhelming national disinterest …
But there was such a sudden outpouring of support – this April in - USA Today. A piece authored by Bianco’s fellow entertainment writer Gary Levin revealed that this year’s USA Today “Save Our Show” survey hailed the latest “Star Trek” spinoff as far and away the “on the bubble” show viewers most wanted to keep around.
It wasn’t even close. “Star Trek: Enterprise” reaped a record 70 percent of the vote, garnering almost twice the support of runner-up “Arrested Development.” One can read more about the survey results in Levin’s USA Today piece here. Clearly, more want “Enterprise” to continue than want it to go away.
So. Relentless “Enterprise” trolls. You must stop with your annoying nerd moaning. Just stop watching “Enterprise.” Migrate to “Andromeda” or “Battlestar: Galactica” or “Lexx” or “Babylon 5” encores. If it makes you feel better, pretend UPN cancelled “Enterprise” and replaced it with “America’s Top Model.”
See? Doesn’t that feel better? Now you can watch “Joan of Arcadia” or “Eight Simple Rules” or “Dateline NBC” or “What I Like About You” tonight instead. When you decide in ten years you miss “Star Trek” again, maybe it’ll still be there, waiting for you.
Certainly, one substandard episode does not unravel all the improvement we saw last season. In Steve Krutzler’s excellent Trekweb interview with Coto, the new showrunner confides:
“My vision is to try to fulfill what I think is ENTERPRISE’s promise, which is to create a truly prequel series. And that is beginning to tie ENTERPRISE into the overall STAR TREK canon and to really use the opportunity that we have to create stories that give us a glimpse into the formation of the STAR TREK universe.”
Who knows? We might even learn why, 100 years after the Archer era, the Klingons all look like Rich Vos.
8 p.m. Friday. UPN.
I am – Hercules!!

Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
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Reader Talkback
Good Luck Enterprise! by CeeWulf | Oct 8th, 2004 09:57:24 AM | I'm first? by CeeWulf | Oct 8th, 2004 10:00:45 AM | I am actually looking forward
to the season opener, AS
DESCRIBED by FluffyUnbound | Oct 8th, 2004 10:02:40 AM | So let me get this straight... by Childe Roland | Oct 8th, 2004 10:08:34 AM | awesome by BurlIvesLeftNut | Oct 8th, 2004 10:22:58 AM | Enterprise '80 by 1/2aShandy | Oct 8th, 2004 10:53:06 AM | In the immortal words of... by flave | Oct 8th, 2004 11:46:16 AM | Sadly, ENTERPRISE has put the
final nail in the coffin of
the ST by SpyGuy | Oct 8th, 2004 11:49:41 AM | Fucking Comcast CABLE and
Paramount by Russman | Oct 8th, 2004 11:51:20 AM | man, what stinks...? by The Killer-Goat | Oct 8th, 2004 12:13:06 PM | These are the kinds of shows
they should've been doing all
along by Voice O. Reason | Oct 8th, 2004 12:24:04 PM | Enterprise is good its the
"fans" who suck. by Falcon5768 | Oct 8th, 2004 12:24:18 PM | Season THREE was
awesome...this season will
rule too...these rev by aceattorney | Oct 8th, 2004 12:48:52 PM | There was 'improvement' last
season? by NNNOOO!!! | Oct 8th, 2004 12:51:09 PM | stop calling it a fucking
franchise! call it a by scrumdiddly | Oct 8th, 2004 01:29:57 PM | Let me get this straight,
Falcon5768... by The Killer-Goat | Oct 8th, 2004 01:53:55 PM | The geek speaks by DrLektor | Oct 8th, 2004 02:08:13 PM | Stoooopid Cable! by prickle28 | Oct 8th, 2004 02:33:31 PM | I'll tell you what's wrong
with Enterprise! by LydiaDeitz | Oct 8th, 2004 02:43:46 PM | with as bad as Enterpoop is... by Strabo | Oct 8th, 2004 02:51:54 PM | Looking forward to wrapping up
the TCW. Even looking forward
mo by Tall_Boy | Oct 8th, 2004 03:46:51 PM | I've seen every episode.. by JAGUART | Oct 8th, 2004 04:03:38 PM | I'm with Cee Wolf by joe brady | Oct 8th, 2004 04:31:58 PM | Another bad sign: They're
shooting this entire season on
high de by Jim Jam Bongs | Oct 8th, 2004 05:45:46 PM | A stunt casting suggestion:
They should have a crossover
episode by Jim Jam Bongs | Oct 8th, 2004 05:59:38 PM | so...william shatner is in a
tacky breakfast cereal tv ad by scrumdiddly | Oct 8th, 2004 06:00:18 PM | you do realise, don't
you...enterprise will outlast
farscape by scrumdiddly | Oct 8th, 2004 06:09:22 PM | yeah, this returns, but no
angel this season. by yeah i'm a jerk! | Oct 8th, 2004 06:23:23 PM | HD by Real Deal | Oct 8th, 2004 07:08:06 PM | Real Deal: We have a
difference of opinion here. I
think HD vide by Jim Jam Bongs | Oct 8th, 2004 07:30:35 PM | TV guide poll by cooper2000 | Oct 8th, 2004 08:26:44 PM | This week on Hoshi's Heroes... by Mutant Leader | Oct 8th, 2004 08:29:41 PM | the highlight... by cooper2000 | Oct 8th, 2004 08:48:01 PM | Maybe Manny Coto is trying to
tie this WWII timeline with
TOS... by Prof. Pop-Cult | Oct 8th, 2004 08:49:07 PM | What this show needs... by Trik | Oct 8th, 2004 08:58:40 PM | Russman by Mad_Radhu | Oct 8th, 2004 09:06:50 PM | Question: Did they EVER reveal
the identity of Future Guy? by Prof. Pop-Cult | Oct 8th, 2004 09:13:17 PM | the fate of future guy post
season one... by Strabo | Oct 8th, 2004 10:01:17 PM | Star Trek XII: so very tired by DrLektor | Oct 8th, 2004 10:05:34 PM | ...Vulcanis? by Johnny Smith | Oct 8th, 2004 10:26:59 PM | Strabo's sentiments by Johnny Smith | Oct 8th, 2004 10:29:27 PM | As bad as Enterprise is... by Trik | Oct 8th, 2004 10:43:38 PM | scrumdiddly by proper | Oct 8th, 2004 11:08:07 PM | VOYAGER ALREADY FUCKING DID
THIS!!!!!!!!! by Battousai | Oct 8th, 2004 11:35:00 PM | The Berman/Braga schism, Coto,
Real Deal and the end of Trek by Electric_Monk | Oct 9th, 2004 01:28:50 AM | You nailed it Electric Monk by Battousai | Oct 9th, 2004 01:45:23 AM | Offtopic sorta : Space 1999 by Dr Farragammo | Oct 9th, 2004 02:20:27 AM | Holy Crap!!! by TommyBCat | Oct 9th, 2004 02:50:20 AM | by DouglasAH | Oct 9th, 2004 02:57:45 AM | Voyager's KILLING GAME >>>>
Ent's STORM FRONT by Tall_Boy | Oct 9th, 2004 03:23:22 AM | Actually agree with Herc
again... by ZeroCorpse | Oct 9th, 2004 03:57:50 AM | Oh.. I guess I don't REALLY
agree with Herc after all.. by ZeroCorpse | Oct 9th, 2004 04:00:01 AM | SPACE NAZI'S? GIVE ME
STRENGTH! HOW STUPID IS
BERMAN! by Noell | Oct 9th, 2004 07:20:56 AM | Time to go to that great
Federation in the sky by nexxus7 | Oct 9th, 2004 09:11:10 AM | HD ( again ) by Real Deal | Oct 9th, 2004 09:16:13 AM | Electric Monk by Real Deal | Oct 9th, 2004 09:22:09 AM | Warp 11 should do the new
Enterprise theme song! by warp11 | Oct 9th, 2004 12:34:52 PM | poor, poor talkbackers by MightyyMouse | Oct 9th, 2004 02:18:25 PM | Orion slave girl action figure by Napoleon Park | Oct 9th, 2004 04:57:20 PM | more trek, more trouble, less
tribble by DrLektor | Oct 9th, 2004 05:34:37 PM | Ah, Real Deal... by Electric_Monk | Oct 9th, 2004 08:06:10 PM | The current version of TREK
and HERC have a lot in
common... by bunnyfett | Oct 9th, 2004 08:56:32 PM | thank you, Electric_Monk by Strabo | Oct 9th, 2004 10:36:03 PM | by WinterDreamer | Oct 10th, 2004 12:19:13 AM | I think Trek should be Goth. by Noriko Takaya | Oct 10th, 2004 01:36:09 AM | True intellectuals recognize
that dogma is bad, regardless
of wh by MightyyMouse | Oct 10th, 2004 02:26:29 AM | I enjoy Enterprise by ejcarter9 | Oct 10th, 2004 12:08:41 PM | If you say that you stopped
watching in season 2.... by cornstalkwalker | Oct 10th, 2004 02:05:54 PM | EM and Strabo by Real Deal | Oct 10th, 2004 05:32:34 PM | The Prime Directive and Planet
Earth by Anlashok | Oct 10th, 2004 06:14:25 PM | Prime directive, the easy way
out by MightyyMouse | Oct 10th, 2004 06:40:45 PM | ST's in the order of how I
liked them by Trik | Oct 10th, 2004 08:22:39 PM | Real Deal's goes conservative
(or is that an insult) by Electric_Monk | Oct 10th, 2004 11:25:54 PM | TO YOU AINT ENTERPRISE PEOPLE by Lukecash | Oct 11th, 2004 02:58:11 AM | Corruption of the timeline is
the central theme of
enterprise by Eyegore | Oct 11th, 2004 01:05:08 PM | Fan-Boy by Electric_Monk | Oct 11th, 2004 01:29:38 PM | EM by Real Deal | Oct 11th, 2004 06:50:10 PM | The secret of the Kirk-era
Klingons by tbrosz | Oct 11th, 2004 07:49:56 PM | Real Deal by Strabo | Oct 11th, 2004 10:43:05 PM | Prime Directive by radio1_mike | Oct 12th, 2004 11:39:31 AM | Strabo by Real Deal | Oct 13th, 2004 08:29:18 AM | I hate "Time Trek," but at the
same time by Drath | Oct 13th, 2004 09:04:36 AM |
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