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Herc

I am – Hercules!!

Talk about bad precedents. NBC moved Kirk/Spock/Bones version of “Star Trek” to Fridays in 1968. The show floundered, and its third season turned out to be its last.

Guess where UPN has scheduled the Archer/T’Pol/Trip version this season?

To aggravate matters, tonight’s first half of the two-hour “Storm Front” is too busy digging the show out of last season’s shockeroo cliffhanger to do much else, and there just isn’t anything here we couldn’t have predicted after having seen the red-eyed extraterrestrial in the Nazi uniform last May. Hopefully next week’s 4.2 will rally as new showrunner Manny Coto & Co. set out to finally resolve the “temporal cold war” storyline introduced in the “Enterprise” pilot four years ago.

With 4.3, Coto gets on with his mission to sniff around the pre-Kirk Alpha Quadrant, as the crew returns to what’s left of 22nd century Earth.

4.4-4.6 brings us a three-hour prequel to “Space Seed” with Brent “Data” Spiner returning to play imprisoned eugenics maven Arik Soong. It’d be cool if, confronted with Archer’s tough questioning, Soong complains to the captain that he “grows fatigued.”

4.7-4.9 moves the action to sunny Vulcanis, where T’Pol’s surprisingly emotional race fusses and feuds so persuasively the desert planet is brought to the brink of civil war. T’Pau, who will later officiate at Spock’s divorce, turns up. So does the planet’s long-dead messiah, Surak.

4.10 then introduces us to the troubled inventor of the transporter (played, if there’s any justice, by Jeff Goldblum), who has a plan to render all starships, including the NX-01, obsolete.

So even if tonight’s installment is a snore, I’m sticking around to see what else they come up with. But, really, what matters Herc’s opinion?

Entertainment Weekly gives tonight's installment a “C-” and says:

… After saving Earth by destroying the evil Xindi's superweapon (don't ask), Captain Archer awakes to find himself in 1940s Brooklyn. Only in this reality, WWII has made its way onto American soil, which is teeming with Nazis who're in bed with (metaphorically, thank God) time-travelling aliens. …

TV Guide gives it a 4 (out of 10) and says:

… the wooden crew returns to Earth … only to be trapped in a clichéd World War II movie … It doesn’t take escaped POW Archer (Scott Bakula) to join the resistance, led by ridiculously stereotyped mobsters. This hokey scenario is all too easy to resist.

USA Today gives it one star (out of four) and says:

Paramount is determined to keep the Star Trek name in front of the public. And never mind how much damage this dull, misbegotten enterprise does to the franchise. … returns with a ludicrous time-travel story, bereft of both creativity and taste. To its usual mix of bland characters and indecipherable plots Enterprise adds alien Nazis …

Yikes. But talk about irony. In his review of tonight’s episode, USA Today TV critic Robert Bianco also writes:

It would be different if the ratings-and-quality-deprived Enterprise had been saved by some sudden, mass outpouring of fan support … But no. Enterprise plods on, despite overwhelming national disinterest …

But there was such a sudden outpouring of support – this April in - USA Today. A piece authored by Bianco’s fellow entertainment writer Gary Levin revealed that this year’s USA Today “Save Our Show” survey hailed the latest “Star Trek” spinoff as far and away the “on the bubble” show viewers most wanted to keep around.

It wasn’t even close. “Star Trek: Enterprise” reaped a record 70 percent of the vote, garnering almost twice the support of runner-up “Arrested Development.” One can read more about the survey results in Levin’s USA Today piece here. Clearly, more want “Enterprise” to continue than want it to go away.

So. Relentless “Enterprise” trolls. You must stop with your annoying nerd moaning. Just stop watching “Enterprise.” Migrate to “Andromeda” or “Battlestar: Galactica” or “Lexx” or “Babylon 5” encores. If it makes you feel better, pretend UPN cancelled “Enterprise” and replaced it with “America’s Top Model.”

See? Doesn’t that feel better? Now you can watch “Joan of Arcadia” or “Eight Simple Rules” or “Dateline NBC” or “What I Like About You” tonight instead. When you decide in ten years you miss “Star Trek” again, maybe it’ll still be there, waiting for you.

Certainly, one substandard episode does not unravel all the improvement we saw last season. In Steve Krutzler’s excellent Trekweb interview with Coto, the new showrunner confides:

“My vision is to try to fulfill what I think is ENTERPRISE’s promise, which is to create a truly prequel series. And that is beginning to tie ENTERPRISE into the overall STAR TREK canon and to really use the opportunity that we have to create stories that give us a glimpse into the formation of the STAR TREK universe.”

Who knows? We might even learn why, 100 years after the Archer era, the Klingons all look like Rich Vos.

8 p.m. Friday. UPN.

I am – Hercules!!





Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!

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Reader Talkback

Good Luck Enterprise!
by CeeWulf
Oct 8th, 2004
09:57:24 AM
I'm first?
by CeeWulf
Oct 8th, 2004
10:00:45 AM
I am actually looking forward to the season opener, AS DESCRIBED
by FluffyUnbound
Oct 8th, 2004
10:02:40 AM
So let me get this straight...
by Childe Roland
Oct 8th, 2004
10:08:34 AM
awesome
by BurlIvesLeftNut
Oct 8th, 2004
10:22:58 AM
Enterprise '80
by 1/2aShandy
Oct 8th, 2004
10:53:06 AM
In the immortal words of...
by flave
Oct 8th, 2004
11:46:16 AM
Sadly, ENTERPRISE has put the final nail in the coffin of the ST
by SpyGuy
Oct 8th, 2004
11:49:41 AM
Fucking Comcast CABLE and Paramount
by Russman
Oct 8th, 2004
11:51:20 AM
man, what stinks...?
by The Killer-Goat
Oct 8th, 2004
12:13:06 PM
These are the kinds of shows they should've been doing all along
by Voice O. Reason
Oct 8th, 2004
12:24:04 PM
Enterprise is good its the "fans" who suck.
by Falcon5768
Oct 8th, 2004
12:24:18 PM
Season THREE was awesome...this season will rule too...these rev
by aceattorney
Oct 8th, 2004
12:48:52 PM
There was 'improvement' last season?
by NNNOOO!!!
Oct 8th, 2004
12:51:09 PM
stop calling it a fucking franchise! call it a
by scrumdiddly
Oct 8th, 2004
01:29:57 PM
Let me get this straight, Falcon5768...
by The Killer-Goat
Oct 8th, 2004
01:53:55 PM
The geek speaks
by DrLektor
Oct 8th, 2004
02:08:13 PM
Stoooopid Cable!
by prickle28
Oct 8th, 2004
02:33:31 PM
I'll tell you what's wrong with Enterprise!
by LydiaDeitz
Oct 8th, 2004
02:43:46 PM
with as bad as Enterpoop is...
by Strabo
Oct 8th, 2004
02:51:54 PM
Looking forward to wrapping up the TCW. Even looking forward mo
by Tall_Boy
Oct 8th, 2004
03:46:51 PM
I've seen every episode..
by JAGUART
Oct 8th, 2004
04:03:38 PM
I'm with Cee Wolf
by joe brady
Oct 8th, 2004
04:31:58 PM
Another bad sign: They're shooting this entire season on high de
by Jim Jam Bongs
Oct 8th, 2004
05:45:46 PM
A stunt casting suggestion: They should have a crossover episode
by Jim Jam Bongs
Oct 8th, 2004
05:59:38 PM
so...william shatner is in a tacky breakfast cereal tv ad
by scrumdiddly
Oct 8th, 2004
06:00:18 PM
you do realise, don't you...enterprise will outlast farscape
by scrumdiddly
Oct 8th, 2004
06:09:22 PM
yeah, this returns, but no angel this season.
by yeah i'm a jerk!
Oct 8th, 2004
06:23:23 PM
HD
by Real Deal
Oct 8th, 2004
07:08:06 PM
Real Deal: We have a difference of opinion here. I think HD vide
by Jim Jam Bongs
Oct 8th, 2004
07:30:35 PM
TV guide poll
by cooper2000
Oct 8th, 2004
08:26:44 PM
This week on Hoshi's Heroes...
by Mutant Leader
Oct 8th, 2004
08:29:41 PM
the highlight...
by cooper2000
Oct 8th, 2004
08:48:01 PM
Maybe Manny Coto is trying to tie this WWII timeline with TOS...
by Prof. Pop-Cult
Oct 8th, 2004
08:49:07 PM
What this show needs...
by Trik
Oct 8th, 2004
08:58:40 PM
Russman
by Mad_Radhu
Oct 8th, 2004
09:06:50 PM
Question: Did they EVER reveal the identity of Future Guy?
by Prof. Pop-Cult
Oct 8th, 2004
09:13:17 PM
the fate of future guy post season one...
by Strabo
Oct 8th, 2004
10:01:17 PM
Star Trek XII: so very tired
by DrLektor
Oct 8th, 2004
10:05:34 PM
...Vulcanis?
by Johnny Smith
Oct 8th, 2004
10:26:59 PM
Strabo's sentiments
by Johnny Smith
Oct 8th, 2004
10:29:27 PM
As bad as Enterprise is...
by Trik
Oct 8th, 2004
10:43:38 PM
scrumdiddly
by proper
Oct 8th, 2004
11:08:07 PM
VOYAGER ALREADY FUCKING DID THIS!!!!!!!!!
by Battousai
Oct 8th, 2004
11:35:00 PM
The Berman/Braga schism, Coto, Real Deal and the end of Trek
by Electric_Monk
Oct 9th, 2004
01:28:50 AM
You nailed it Electric Monk
by Battousai
Oct 9th, 2004
01:45:23 AM
Offtopic sorta : Space 1999
by Dr Farragammo
Oct 9th, 2004
02:20:27 AM
Holy Crap!!!
by TommyBCat
Oct 9th, 2004
02:50:20 AM

by DouglasAH
Oct 9th, 2004
02:57:45 AM
Voyager's KILLING GAME >>>> Ent's STORM FRONT
by Tall_Boy
Oct 9th, 2004
03:23:22 AM
Actually agree with Herc again...
by ZeroCorpse
Oct 9th, 2004
03:57:50 AM
Oh.. I guess I don't REALLY agree with Herc after all..
by ZeroCorpse
Oct 9th, 2004
04:00:01 AM
SPACE NAZI'S? GIVE ME STRENGTH! HOW STUPID IS BERMAN!
by Noell
Oct 9th, 2004
07:20:56 AM
Time to go to that great Federation in the sky
by nexxus7
Oct 9th, 2004
09:11:10 AM
HD ( again )
by Real Deal
Oct 9th, 2004
09:16:13 AM
Electric Monk
by Real Deal
Oct 9th, 2004
09:22:09 AM
Warp 11 should do the new Enterprise theme song!
by warp11
Oct 9th, 2004
12:34:52 PM
poor, poor talkbackers
by MightyyMouse
Oct 9th, 2004
02:18:25 PM
Orion slave girl action figure
by Napoleon Park
Oct 9th, 2004
04:57:20 PM
more trek, more trouble, less tribble
by DrLektor
Oct 9th, 2004
05:34:37 PM
Ah, Real Deal...
by Electric_Monk
Oct 9th, 2004
08:06:10 PM
The current version of TREK and HERC have a lot in common...
by bunnyfett
Oct 9th, 2004
08:56:32 PM
thank you, Electric_Monk
by Strabo
Oct 9th, 2004
10:36:03 PM

by WinterDreamer
Oct 10th, 2004
12:19:13 AM
I think Trek should be Goth.
by Noriko Takaya
Oct 10th, 2004
01:36:09 AM
True intellectuals recognize that dogma is bad, regardless of wh
by MightyyMouse
Oct 10th, 2004
02:26:29 AM
I enjoy Enterprise
by ejcarter9
Oct 10th, 2004
12:08:41 PM
If you say that you stopped watching in season 2....
by cornstalkwalker
Oct 10th, 2004
02:05:54 PM
EM and Strabo
by Real Deal
Oct 10th, 2004
05:32:34 PM
The Prime Directive and Planet Earth
by Anlashok
Oct 10th, 2004
06:14:25 PM
Prime directive, the easy way out
by MightyyMouse
Oct 10th, 2004
06:40:45 PM
ST's in the order of how I liked them
by Trik
Oct 10th, 2004
08:22:39 PM
Real Deal's goes conservative (or is that an insult)
by Electric_Monk
Oct 10th, 2004
11:25:54 PM
TO YOU AINT ENTERPRISE PEOPLE
by Lukecash
Oct 11th, 2004
02:58:11 AM
Corruption of the timeline is the central theme of enterprise
by Eyegore
Oct 11th, 2004
01:05:08 PM
Fan-Boy
by Electric_Monk
Oct 11th, 2004
01:29:38 PM
EM
by Real Deal
Oct 11th, 2004
06:50:10 PM
The secret of the Kirk-era Klingons
by tbrosz
Oct 11th, 2004
07:49:56 PM
Real Deal
by Strabo
Oct 11th, 2004
10:43:05 PM
Prime Directive
by radio1_mike
Oct 12th, 2004
11:39:31 AM
Strabo
by Real Deal
Oct 13th, 2004
08:29:18 AM
I hate "Time Trek," but at the same time
by Drath
Oct 13th, 2004
09:04:36 AM

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