God Keeps Jorge Garcia From Playing Harry Knowles in FANBOYS! Only Alanis Knows Who Will Play Harry Next!
Published at: March 23, 2006, 12:08 a.m. CST by staff
Hey folks, Harry here with further coverage of the casting of the century! Throughout the decades people have often wondered who on earth could play Harry Knowles. Fatty Arbuckle, Oliver Hardy, Lou Costello, Lionel Barrymore, Charles Laughton, Sidney Greenstreet, Ned Beatty, Marlon Brando, John Belushi, Sam Kinison, John Candy, Michelin Man, Pop-n-Fresh Dough Boy, etc...
This was always just a hypothetical. When I've been asked, I've always said, Eric Stoltz in a fat suit. If only due to my eerie resemblance to that kid from MASK. You know, Cher's kid. Anyways, when a feature film called FANBOYS featuring a character named Harry Knowles (based on me) was being made, this question became a harsh reality. For a while, they considered employing WETA and the folks behind the creation of Cave Trolls... to just put like long red hair and a beard on em... with a Hawaiian shirt. But this was a small production, they couldn't afford that sort of fx... and frankly WETA's animators went on strike saying they'd rather be unemployed than bring me to life.
After that, they cast Jorge Garcia... Hurley from LOST. He was cast. He was signed. But unfortunately for the production - GOD decided to hurl (giggle) the biggest set of storms to hit Hawaii in quite some while, has made it to where Jorge has had to pull out at the last minute. The producers of FANBOYS were in a panic... when suddenly... a hero came from out of nowhere. A man with the mass and tiny prick to pull it off. KEVIN SMITH.
That's right, KEVIN SMITH has agreed to become HARRY KNOWLES in FANBOYS. LOL. I'm now officially scared to death and giddy as hell. Word has it that the producers, writers and director have given Kevin complete free reign to create "Harry Knowles" - Can you imagine Kevin in the red hair and beard... the prosthetics... fuck casting THE BLOB, the fat character of the century has found its actor. I am dying to see this.
