Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
As you probably know by now, we've been working with the great guys over at Dakota Films to give you a series of peeks behind the scenes of RUN RONNIE RUN - THE RONNIE DOBBS STORY starring Bob Odenkirk and David Cross of MR. SHOW. I'm working with director Troy Miller as well as some other members of the team over there to bring you a special story at the end of this weekend.
Today, though, I got a press release e-mailed to me from the office of Bob Odenkirk, and I thought I'd just go ahead and run it in its entirety to tide you over till the next special report. This is pretty much just a standard run of the mill press release about a new cast member, but I thought you'd enjoy seeing what one of these looks like when we get it here in the Labs.
First up, there was a photo attachment:
That was accompanied by this, which was signed "Baw Bodenkirk":
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE TO ALL PRESS OFFICES...
DOT LANCASTER, FILM VALEDICTORIAN OF HOLLYWOOD has signed on to appear as himself in the moving picture, “Run, Ronnie, Run; The Ronnie Dobbs Story”. Mr. Lancaster, the black-sheep cousin of Hollywood spokesman Jack Valenti, will speak directly to the movie’s viewers in an introductory capacity and will hopefully provide, “a gentle prodding finger to cautious viewers…” explained Producers.
Mr. Lancaster’s career has paralleled that of his well-respected cousin, Mr. Valenti. While Mr. Valenti was an important advisor to President Lyndon “Baines” Johnson during his brief tenure during the Vietnam conflict, Mr. Lancaster advised the North Vietnamese leader, Ho Chi Minh in a similar capacity. As Mr. Lancaster proudly claims, “That network of underground tunnels the Cong employed?—My idea. So was adding a silent ‘H’ to the end of Ho Chi’s name, I thought it added a splash of flavor. It’s little things like that that put us over the top in that conflict, and, while I respect my cousin Jack’s work with President Baines Johnson, it’s pretty clear who advised better, isn’t it?”
After the war, Mr. Lancaster’s career hit the skids. As he joked, “I was a spokesperson, but everyone seemed to be spoken for!” He then added the caveat, “Did you like that? The play on the work “spoke”? You didn’t? Oh well, don’t print it then…I thought it was clever.”
In recent years Mr. Lancaster has served in the honorary title of “Valedictorian of Hollywood”. It’s a title he created himself with a special computer program, “TitleCrafter 3.0.” While his cousin is often called to speak before congress, Mr. Lancaster’s duties consist mostly of renting himself out to private parties in, in his words, “any capacity whatsoever”, and attempts to appear important at purely honorary ceremonies.
The producers would like to add that, “Mr. Lancaster should add an air of dignity to our film, but let us be clear, it will just be an “air” of dignity, not real dignity, but who can tell the difference?”
As always, all thanks to Bob, David, Troy, Dakota Films, Virginia, and Dot Lancaster.
"Moriarty" out.
